For the last several weeks actually, my family have drove me to tears many many times. Why? The Ex. Or more to the point. Defending the ex.
Now if you look at I’m Alive you’ll see that my abusive ex took me to court for access to my son (despite my not stopping him even though he never bothered with my son and even threw a hissy fit when I want to CSA to get him to pay a measly £5 a week). The same ex who hit me before I was pregnant and wrote a letter to my parents to admit it. Who was harrasssing me on email, phone and in chatrooms resulting in him getting a harrassment order.. Who lied about my ‘stopping’ him seeing his son (which I have proof otherwise) all because I told him I was sick of him wanting me not our son. He went on to no contact from July 7th until April 4th when court told him the dates he demanded from me were permitted (10am until 7pm once a week – he’s never seen him past 3pm, its usually 2pm though).
Great for him he is bothering finally but when you are abusive and try lying about it all then don’t bother expecting me to be more pleased. I’m gutted my family are all over him for what he as a parent should have done from day one and he isn’t fully doing it now. All excusing him for there being “not much to do” but this means he should plan better rather than only going to the park or to the indoor play area, there are many things to do in this city! I told him I’d go out if he wanted to use the house – I didnt even get a reply. He still doesn’t know how to do nappies and creams for eczema despite it being on the court order and our son being 29 months.
My family are just up his arse now. Seems to forget he could have made me go into prem labour (like my sister went into prem labour 13 weeks early and now has a disabled son because she was stressed) with the severe stress he caused when I was pregnant.. or the fact he even admitted knocking me about, mum even had to save me one of the times.
Now please someone explain to me why it is so wrong that I am miffed that my family are all over him for being a brilliant dad allowing my nieces or nephew to be there during the time “to give X company”, or the fact he bothers with X. Took him long enough to do is fatherly duties right, well he isn’t even fully doign them now.
I wonder what sort of monster I’d be made out to be if I just upped and buggered off for awhile, or even stayed but didnt change nappies, done meals, baths or bedtimes etc. After all, its what mothers do right? I have never been complimented for doing my motherly duties.
Have you ever experienced this? What did you do?